Merry Christmas, everyone!

I actually found some quiet time today to just sit and look back on this year. A lot of things had happened, a lot of things had changed, both everywhere around me as well as myself. Reading my past journal entries starting at the beginning of the year, I realized how much I've been through.

I realized how old I was getting. Last January, I witnessed the wedding of my close friend Karlo to his (then) girlfriend Domini. We've known each other since our crazy playful high school days, and seeing us all get together back then at the cathedral, the wedding didn't even feel real. I can't believe the Funky Bunch had finally lost one bachelor.

Then I lost a friend to a motorcycle accident. Michel Mojares slipped into a coma and never woke up, leaving a lot of our friends and classmates devastated. I miss you, Mich.

Following that up was another opportunity to work for Atlantis Productions as a trainee in Dreamgirls. Alongside that experience was boyfriend trouble. Despite everything, I believe I did the right thing because I realized I can't really handle a relationship that well yet. I know the reason of being afraid sounds so pathetic, but I think it just shows me I'm not ready to keep the relationship going.

Even though I was going through that tough time, I knew I still had friends with me, and I learned not to let my personal life interfere with my work.

"...Yes, I was thought that love was what I had to have,
When we were young, that's the way it seemed,
If only it were the way we dreamed..."

"...But years have passed
And time has a way
Of making us see
Things aren't the way they seem to be..."

That's when I also saw that I was finally single after a long time. I finally knew what it felt like again to have a crush on someone, to feel the kilig and the funny moments of keeping the fact that you're crushing on the person.

During the summer, I bagged another job to work for Trumpets Playshop as administrative assistant. I also got to be in the advanced musical theater class along with most of my Playshop friends. Because of late-night complaints about our class and teachers over dinner and desserts, our entire classes bonded to together. And we knew it was up to us, not our teachers/directors, to pull off a good show.

Before the summer even began, I got exposed to a brand new kind of music. I've been listening to nothing but Broadway and West End musicals for years, and I've grown eccentric and never listened to any other kind. But a simple invitation from one of the cast members of Dreamgirls (that I was crushing on, heeheehee) changed all that. I never knew then how much of an impact Nyoy Volante could make in the acoustic music scene.

The world of acoustic music opened up a whole new world for me. During the summer, I took one day every week to go to Makati to watch Nyoy and the Mannos perform. I fell in love with the music. As I began frequenting their gigs, it wasn't about the crush anymore. It was about the music. Acoustic music had always been there, but the people had only recognized it then, so it surfaced. Nyoy and the Mannos' music also gave me the opportunity to meet new friends. In the beginning, I only knew these people online. They were random names with no faces, no voices. Getting to know people via the internet was tough, because you'll never know what they're like in person. When I did get to meet them, I found a lot of good and true friends in some of them. They were like a bunch of angels that descended to give love and friendship.

Of course, there was also the groupie phase I went through. A bunch of us still kept frequenting gigs of these 4 guys. For me, there was more to the music. I wanted to see the real people behind the music. I wanted to get up-close and personal with the guys so I'll know they're not perfect, that they're also human. In theatre, I ventured backstage to see how the magic was made. I wanted to do the same thing with these people.

"Getting up-close and personal" wasn't what I had expected. Being friends with the guys was one thing. Getting involved was a different story. I only wanted to see what kind of people these guys were. But I got much more than what I bargained for. Hence, my decision to lie low.

I had to deal with some personal issues these past few months. I kept quoting from Tita Sherbet that during my toughest times, that's when my true friends come in. True enough. My closest friends were there to back me up.

Of course, I didn't let these problems get me down. I prayed to Him for peace of mind. I asked for something to keep me busy.

My prayer was answered. I found work (and got paid for it, heeheehee) with another musical group, the AKAfellas, through a bunch of friends, and right after that, I returned to Atlantis for a short run of Urinetown. Even though I was busy, I managed to make time for my dearest friends. It taught me how to manage my time well.

Funny how much things can happen in a year, and sometimes we don't realize it. These experiences are the ones that make us the people we are today, making us stronger as we go through the obstacles, and gaining a lot of rewards as well. Despite the pitfalls I encountered, I don't regret anything that had happened because it helped me grow as a person.

To all those who had been there and will always be there for me, I love you all. I thank the Lord for bringing you into my life. For the friendship, the love, the support, the laughter and tears, the moments we've shared together, it's been a great year. I'll cherish it in my heart forever.

Once again, Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year to all!