I just watched my copy of Joseph and The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat for the nth time to get my creative juices flowing. I played it twice, just listening to the audio during the first one to check the lyrics that I got from this page. Hahahaha, I love that site. It's my reliable source for libretto. It's chock full of all the musicals I need.

During the 2nd time I played it, I recorded the audio so I can make a study tape for our talents, whoever they may be. Hahaha, my mom was watching the video the whole time, and I kept saying how hot Donny Osmond's bod was, but she didn't realize it was Donny until she looked at the credits, wahahahaha.

Teeheehee, I was singing all the Narrator's parts along with Maria Friedman the whole time. I know I might come out makapal, but there's this teeny bit of me who wants to play the Narrator, no matter how demanding the part may be. It sounds like a cool part to play, but I don't think my thesis mates might go for it, because I already got first dibs as stage manager. Though Rain once suggested I do the Narrator before I announced I wanted to be SM. Oh well.

I've always wanted to do a big role onstage. But I never got any of those because hindi gaanong makapal mukha ko when it came to the castings of our shows. Take for example last summer's Bye Bye Birdie. Instead of trying out (even for the sake of trying) for the main female roles such as Rosie, Kim and Mrs. MacAffee, I insisted on trying out for the non-singing role of Ursula. I have to admit, I hate auditions because I know I'm not as good as the others. I didn't get the part, but as consolation, I got another minor speaking part which also required a bit of singing. I never got good roles that leaves a good impact on the audience, except for a few shining moments.

And now, here's a really really good role that's up for grabs, and I can easily get it because I'm co-producing the show. I really want it, but I don't know if my voice is strong enough for the part. Heck, I never had any formal voice training, but musical theater training had developed my voice somehow. But still...I know my voice is still raw.

But, I still want to prove to other people I can handle a big role such as this.

But there's still the task of being stage manager, that's why I accepted the cameo role of Potiphar's wife.

But then again, looking back at the very first batch of technical theater students, Nyoy played the lead role in Big In God's Eyes. It was his thesis, but he got to perform in the show as Saint Benilde. How did he do that? Plus how did they manage to pull off that show, being the experimental batch of techies?

There are so many but's, gr...

Gah, maybe I should talk to Rain about this. I know he'd understand what I feel.

Strange as it seems
There's been a run of crazy dreams
And a man who can interpret
Could go far
Could become a star